It’s Libby. I know y’all just groaned. What has become of this blog? What has happened to B.R.B. and all that fun short-stories and light hearted posts?
Well, the fact that B.R.B. is Libby, except she is simply multiple years younger than me. Which means that most of the stuff that B.R.B. writes is Libby with a younger outlook on life.
But today I’m not going to post as B.R.B. Because what I’m posting about today is not a light matter. It’s not easy, and it’s not something I’m just gonna brush off as a simple topic for a fiction 15 year old girl to laugh about and then move on.
I’m not laughing.
Here we go.
Each of us had been given a gift from God that our parents hold for us. It’s called our hearts.
Depending how each person was raised, their background, and their parents, our hearts get handed to us at varying ages. Sometimes girls will take hold of their hearts as early as 8 years old, some girls at 12, some girls at 16.
I have chosen to leave mine in my dad’s hands. I’ve chosen to leave it there until a man comes to my father and asks him for it.
The thing is, I have been raised to guard my heart. Believe it or not, that promise has saved me many many times.
What does GYH mean?
Guarding Your Heart: (according to my personal standards)
Please keep in mind that this is what I live by and not anything I am pressuring you to do, so please do not offer mean comments. Although I recommend this to people with all my heart because I KNOW IT WORKS, but if you have different standards, that is up to you.
- I will guard my mind from temptations.
I don’t read books, watch movies, or listen to music that will institute or suggest to my mind or heart facts that are not true. These standards include no suggestive sexual content, no imaginative or suggestive romantic ideas, and more often than not, I don’t want to hear about Prince Charming.
The line for this is set by my mom who I respect beyond belief. She is so wise and I cannot thank her enough for the way that she raised me. By seeking God’s guidance through His word and through my parents, I was able to place a line for myself.
I am aloud to read books with romance as a side plot. I am also allowed to read some romance if it is physically and spiritually clean. I think the closest to the line that I’ve ever gotten was the book “Summer by Summer” which, to be frank, pretty much danced on the line. So my standards are a lot more strict than most girls, but I do read a whole lot, so I don’t feel like I’m missing all that much, and whatever I have missed, I don’t regret it at all. I’ve saved my mind.
Why I guard my mind
I guard my mind so that I am not tempted to make up fake worlds, fake guys, and fake stories. So that I don’t create a dream reality where Prince Charming comes in and sweeps me up off my feet and takes me to the place I always imagined to be perfection.
I guess that this can be summarized in one quote. “Expectations Ruin Relationships.” There.
- I will not develop relationships with boys or guys that my dad does not approve of.
My dad is my head and my authority until I leave the house to live with my husband. I believe with all my heart, and know from experience, God speaks through my parents. Seeking their approval is ultimately seeking God’s blessing on any relationship I may one day get into.
Taking this one step farther.
To be honest, I actually made a decision not to develop any relationship with any boy until I was at least 17. This was NOT A FENCE! I did not feel restricted, held back, denied fun, or feel like I was being cheated. This is a decision that I made to myself with my parents support. And it’s something that I’ve succeeded in and I’m so happy that I have.
Now that I am “old enough” that does not mean that I hand out my heart to every passerby. At this point, I continue to seek God. I have not dated, I haven’t had a boyfriend, ever. I have become close friends with a young man once, but seeking God, we both understood that God was not leading us to anything more, and that was a blessing, knowing God that way.
- I will not seek out and chase guys that I like.
We girls have a weakness towards guys that most of us understand. Some of them are just so fun! or so cute, or so smart, or so funny or whatever. Yes! Guys are cool! (sometimes. I know a couple of guys who are a little bit annoying, and I’m sure you do too :D)
As girls, we need to understand that God has placed pursuit in the guy’s hands. If you are old enough to have a relationship, and if your parents approve of whoever you “like,” do not go and chase him. Don’t seek him out. Don’t flirt, don’t dream about him, don’t imagine a future together, don’t put your first name to his last name. Just don’t.
It’s THE GUY’S job to seek you out, to pursue you, and to (recently read a stunning book called “The Circle Series” by Ted Dekker)(not recommended for girls under 16 because of violence and spiritual depth that cannot be grasped until about then)(THANK YOU ETHAN AND TANYA FOR THAT AMAZINGNESS HIDDEN IN WORDS AND LETTERS!) in that book, Thomas, the main character, is told to “woo” the girl, to pursue her, impress her. Because that’s his job. That’s where God has placed men. It’s not our job.
- I will serve God with my single life, and not get lost in self pity.
Oh I know it’s hard! We girls love to be cherished, held close, loved, pursued. It’s so difficult to look back on another year and think “Well, nobody feel for me last year. Maybe this year will be different.”
Girls, finding a man for ourselves SHOULD NOT BE the goal and task and energy of our lives!!! We have been given Jesus to serve and seek. And He loves us SO MUCH MORE than any man ever could! Until we find our satisfaction and purpose in Him, we will never never find that in another man. We will never be happy with another human. We will be miserable. It is only by God’s grace and love that we can stand to live with another human all our lives.
Marriage is a blessing that God has gifted to some of us, and He’s gifted singleness to others. In either situation we need to HIM in order to find our satisfaction.
We’re not waiting.
God does not give us our single lives, these precious few, full, turning point, influential years of our lives that we call being a teen, so that we sit around and think “Oh God, I can’t wait until You show me the one. I can’t wait to be loved and cherished, and have someone who will listen to me and someone to listen to. I’m so excited. I’m willing to wait for You’re plan.”
No, We’re not called to wait. We are called to DO SOMETHING with these years. Singlehood is precious and it alters the course of your life! What you learn about God, about the world, about loving others, and about serving, it will be so important. Because once you marry you are tied down to another human. You are now responsible to them and to their needs, to their emotions, and the same for them about you.
Well you are single, juice every last minute to seek God, bless others, serve, be an example, love, read the Bible, Pray. NOW is the time. NOW! We are not here to sit! These few years we have we need to use with wisdom!
Personally I want to be able to look back on these years God has gifted me with and KNOW I did everything I could to serve and bless others. Use this time to develop a deeper, more meaningful relationship with the Lover of all! He’s not holding Himself back from you. He’s extending His hand to you, reaching out, calling you. He’s drawing you closer. He wants you! Go to Him.
- I will do my best to save my heart for my future husband.
For this there is a really easy test. Take the way you behave towards the boys and guys in your life and imagine that you already had a husband. Is the way you behave towards them appropriate? Does the way you talk, dress, and behave glorify God? What if they had a wife, would it be appropriate for you to act like that towards them?
Now, I know there is an acception here. As single girls, we are not yet married, and will eventually need a husband. But what I have to say to that is ok. Listen. Don’t cross that line until you’ve got your parent’s and God’s approval, and the guy has sought a relationship with you. Don’t flirt, don’t spend time alone with him, and don’t talk about sensitive items with him unless you guys are seriously looking into marriage in the future. This is a big part of guarding your heart so I move onto the last point.
- I will not share my heart with any boy or guy who is not my dad or my future spouse.
Don’t get all yell-y at this. I know some of y’all have best friends that happen to be guys. That’s your situation. For me personally, I do not want to be sharing my life struggles, my heart issues, my feelings and my personal situations with a man that will not mean anything to me in a couple of years, even possibly next year! No matter what your dedication is to each other now, if you are not working towards marriage, it’s not your guys’ place to be having heart-to-heart talks.
This is not a prompt to jump into a relationship because you’re close with a guy.
What else? This is essential to guarding your heart, because whether you believe it or not, sharing personal matters and thoughts with a guy is giving your heart away. And ultimately we’re seeking to keep that guarded and pure for our husbands. Or God. Whatever is in the ultimate plan.
- What about when I am in a relationship or am seeking a relationship with a guy?
So much fun! Guess what? This post just started a torrent of advice, basic, standard things that my family and I live by, and it’s not over yet! Part 2 of “Hearts” will be coming soon! There will be multiple parts to this series. It will include:
Guarding your heart when in a relationship.
When you’ve messed up.
Knowing what’s right and what’s wrong.
A list of guidelines to look for in a guy!
This last one is not personalized, but can be taken for any girl and your own convictions and preferences can be added! Stay tuned for these posts and others similar to this topic.
And shout out to Marissa for bringing this topic up to me. I grew up in a home where Guarding You Heart was something that was implied daily, weekly, and per situation, so naturally I forgot that not everyone knows what it is. Here it is. 😀
Ultimately, guarding your heart is guarding it for God until He guides you to a man that you can then give it to. Your heart is a gift that you should be saving for God to give to the man that you will spend the rest of your life with. And if you do not have a man in God’s future plan for you, than all the better! Your heart will remain God’s forever!
Girls, trust me… I know it’s hard. I have struggled, I have been tempted, I have been in battles. I’m not asking you to do something that is unreasonable, or that is impossible. I’m not asking you to do something I have no idea about. I’ve lived through it and I am still seeking God in it, because this is something doesn’t just all of a sudden stop.
More on my personal struggle in future posts.
Guarding your heart is something that will challenge you to stick to what you know is right, and you WILL NOT REGRET doing that. I challenge you girls to Guard Your Heart for your Future Husband. Some people will say “Oh, I’m too young to worry about that. I’m just a kid. I’ve got too many years left before I need to start thinking about my ‘future husband’.” I cannot agree. If you are old enough to like a guy. If you’re old enough to have a “crush” you are PERFECTLY OLD ENOUGH to guard your heart. 😀
Lot’s of love and hugs and happiness to all of you. If this post encouraged you and taught you something, share it with someone you love. Share it with someone you know needs it and someone you know it will encourage. My goal in life is to lift up and bless God by blessing others. Thank you all for your reading this very loooong post.